I apologize and will never write such a cheesy title again. I have to say, prepare yourself for some very first world complaints. Grab a coffee or a drink. I need to vent and I also need to get it on paper because I need perspective. I'm not going to Prague to live, as established in an earlier post, but I still have a ticket to Prague. I'm currently booked to travel to Prague for a night, then to Malta for 4 nights, then to Paris for two, then home. Today would mark one month before I leave.
The past two months have been nothing but unexpected expenses, BIG ones. A $500 student loan payment increase (per month), almost $700 in emergency room bills from July (that is all my responsibility, the original bill was $1600). I am just really second-guessing my choice to travel now. I think that I can make it work but it will make things really tight for a few months and I don't know if it is the responsible thing to do for me to travel right now. I always find a way to make things work and I am getting a raise next month but it still does not seem fiscally responsible for me to go. The problem is, I might not get more than $200 in refunds if I do cancel my return flight. I'll only get be refunded $36 in taxes back on my departure flight - I looked into that back when I canceled moving plans and decided it was a better decision to use my ticket! I will get back $186 in Airbnb fees, I think, I've never canceled so I don't know how that works.
In short, I am just really frustrated with how life is going right now for me. No, my house is not flooded, I do have electricity (my parents currently do not, thanks to Hurricane Irma). I am safe, I am healthy, I have people who love me. I guess I just feel like the things and experiences that I really love are slowly being taken from me and I find it intensely frustrating. I'm not going to count how many times I use that word in this post. I know that last minute wedding expenses (for my sister's wedding) are going to come up. Like, I haven't bought them a gift yet and I know I will have to pay for a hotel the weekend of the wedding and such to stay out there for three nights, ugh. And take vacation days for it. I just feel like everything is working against me on this trip and I hate it. I have so many freedoms and I never face this type of restriction on things I want to do. I pretty much do what I want since I am single and have no kids. And that is another thing, I was stood up Friday and we actually reconnected and I think it was a communication issue so I am giving him a second chance but I am still annoyed. I just want a break since that area of my life is such garbage anyway.
My bottom line is that I feel like the universe is trying to take one of my greatest loves and ways to unwind and reconnect with myself (travel) away from me at a time when I really need it and don't have anything else but silks as a release. I really need both. I am just very frustrated, thank you for reading and I hope that I am in a better mood tomorrow. Feel free to want to slap me, I deserve it for these complaints.
EDITED TO ADD: I've just got to do it, I've got to go. I'll figure it out later.